The Rock 'n Roll Hall of Lame

Ok, Mike and I have been talking about making a Top Ten list of the most overrated rock bands/musicians. Mike is usually the Top Ten guru, but I think I'll take a crack at it. This list is intended only for critically-acclaimed artists that are widely considered to have acheived "legend" status. Here's my list:

1. The Grateful Dead -- This band tops my list because I can find absolutely no redeeming value in their music. It's as simple as that. If only they had quit taking acid long enough to realize how much their band sucked...

2. Santana -- Largely acclaimed for fusing latin rhythms into the rock genre, Santana had a couple of nearly-listenable songs in the early '70s. As a guitar player, I HATE his tone. Although his playing is proficient, I find it totally uninspired. I'm never moved, excited, or impressed in any way when listening to his crappy solos.

3. R.E.M. -- Has there ever been any other band so critically acclaimed that is so average? They have written a few decent songs. Nothing amazing. No brilliant musicianship. Michael Stipe's voice is marginal, and oftentimes irritating. And whenever I see interviews with them, they come off so pretentious -- clearly believing themselves to be deeply profound artists. So self-important...and so totally AVERAGE.

4. Bruce Springsteen -- I respect the amount of effort that he puts into his live performances, but I can't figure out how this guy has sustained a 30-year music career with the crap he puts out. Evidently the blue-collar thing appeals to a large segment of our society. I just find his music boring and predictable.


5. The Doors -- In a historical context, the Doors were significant. Their stage shows were wild and unpredictable, and Jim Morrison exuded a sexualty that was almost unparalled. In these ways, they personified the counter-culture of that era. But, Morrison was a freak and his poetry/lyrics, especially toward the end of his life, were so abstract as to be nonsensical. It was just drug-induced drivel. His untimely death catapulted him into "rock hero" status that was massively overstated and undeserved. The keyboards were one-dimensional, although cool on occasion (e.g. "Light My Fire"). While they had a few good tunes ("Hello, I Love You" rocks), their catalog of music, when viewed in its entirety, absolutely does not merit the adulation they have received in the annals of rockdom. Maybe their "greatness" will dawn on me someday, like it did with Hendrix in my early 20s. So far 30 years of listening hasn't done the trick.

6. The Clash -- During the punk era of the late '70s, critics labeled them "the only band that mattered." There's no question that they were trailblazers for that genre. But, I can't change the station fast enough when one of their songs comes on the radio.

7. Eric Clapton (1980s to present) -- As a guitarist myself, I feel like I'm commiting an act of sacrilege by saying this. But, everything Clapton put out after the 1970s is crap. These days, his guitar tone sucks, most of his recent songs are not memorable (save "Tears in Heaven"), and he no longer plays with the fire of his youth (to be fair, none of us do). Just compare his solo on the live version of "Crossroads" with anything he's put out over the last 20 years. There's no question that he deserves his legendary status for his work in The Yardbirds, John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers, Cream, and Derek and the Dominos. But beyond that, forget it.

8. Guns 'n Roses -- The first time I heard "Welcome to the Jungle" I knew this band would have an impact on the music scene of the day. Their first album had some songs that were decent--even refreshing, considering the crap put out by hair bands during that unfortunate era. But, Axl Rose is a friggin' ego-maniacal, self-important idiot (a trait he shares with several others on this list) with a grating voice that got worse (if you can imagine that) as his career progressed. Slash is a massively-overrated guitarist/drunkard. My most vivid memory of him was at a benefit concert in Santa Monica many years ago when he made a guest appearance with Great White (who sucks worse than ‘GnR’) and was so drunk he couldn't play. He got booed off the stage.

9. Pearl Jam -- Hailed by many as a premier grunge band, they were somehow able to "fool some of the people all of the time" with below-average songs, non-sensical lyrics, and a disheveled singer who sounded like he was trying to keep from swallowing a mouthful of cough syrup. Also, pick a melody and stick with it, for crying out loud. (Sorry, Myke)

10. Nirvana -- I struggled with this one a little bit. They wrote some good songs, ushered in the Grunge movement, and obviously had a huge influence on many bands that followed (way too much, in my opinion), which is why I think some of their accolades are deserved. But, like Jim Morrison, the mystique and prestige of Nirvana was elevated to mythic proportions after Kurt Cobain's death. There's no way to know for sure, but I believe it is highly unlikely that Nirvana would have garnered as much adulation had Cobain not taken his life. I'm not saying they weren't a cool band; just that they are highly overrated.

Dishonorable mention:

Blue-collar rock: John "Cougar" Mellencamp (sucked from Day 1)
Punk: Sonic Youth (trashy, sloppy, sucky)
Jam Band: Dave Matthews Band (quirky and unconventional can be cool; but, in the case, it just sucks).
EMO: The Smiths (one word: Morrissey)
Brit Rock: Oasis (a couple of great songs. But, how many different ways can you write the same song?)

That was pretty fun. I'll update If I think of more.

Grief For Another Life Lost

Christopher Hitchens writes about a young soldier from Irvine, California--just a few miles down the 55 Freeway from me--who died in combat in Iraq earlier this year. In it, Hitchens recounts his grief about the young soldier's death after learning that one of Hitchens' articles helped persuade him to join the service.

I don't exaggerate by much when I say that I froze [after reading the news report about the soldier's death]. I certainly felt a very deep pang of cold dismay. I had just returned from a visit to Iraq with my own son (who is 23, as was young Mr. Daily) and had found myself in a deeply pessimistic frame of mind about the war. Was it possible that I had helped persuade someone I had never met to place himself in the path of an I.E.D.?

It's an interesting and, at times, moving article.

Teach Your Children Well...

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was Capone's lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.

Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was.

Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great.

So, he testified.

Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.

The poem read: The clock of life is wound but once, And no man has the power To tell just when the hands will stop At late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will. Place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be still.

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World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.

One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet. As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold: a squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet.

The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly.

Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft.

This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.

So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.

(h/t The Corner)