Last night the Turkey Bowl tournament pitted the youngies (the new “oldies”) against the oldies (now the “wiseacres”) in the latest installment of an annual battle that has lasted nearly 25 years. The wiseacres started off very slow. Jason showed up late, a little woozy from an emergency root canal (how’s that for commitment? One of the oldies was off watching an octogenarian at Chavez Ravine throwing out a hip while singing Brown Sugar).
In Game 1, Big Ron (the “God/Grandfather”) Varieur posted a ‘68’ and the rest of us, except for K-Fed (a ringer from the PGA bowling tour brought by Wade), struggled to crack the century mark. Jason and I thought we were sunk when Brett (Captain Oldie) delivered the shocking news that we had actually won by 3 pins. The rest of the oldies already had been informed and were incredulous. Priceless.
The good news seemed to infuse new life in the wiseacres. The stars aligned In Game 2 when the Trinity (Wade, Jason, and Larry) was grouped together on the same lane and started dropping bombs. Big Ron also came alive and improved his score by 101 pins (and he wasn’t finished)! The wiseacres rolled two turkeys (me and Big Ron) and scored ‘147’ in triplicate. It was a bloodbath (in bowling terms) and the oldies begrudgingly conceded defeat.
Having secured the best-of-three series, Jason retired for the evening, presumably because his novacaine/vicodin cocktail wore off. The oldies won Game 3 handily as the wiseacres succumbed to the frailty of their ancient frames. Fortunately for us, the oldies ran out of money/games. We had enough for one more. So, Wade offered the oldies a final chance to tie the series by allowing one of their players to go against our high scorer. The self-titled “Daledo” proceeded to barely crack ‘46’, while Big Ron exploded for ‘205’. The oldies could do nothing but watch the carnage. Another victory for the wiseacres. It was beautiful.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
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