The Rock 'n Roll Hall of Lame

Ok, Mike and I have been talking about making a Top Ten list of the most overrated rock bands/musicians. Mike is usually the Top Ten guru, but I think I'll take a crack at it. This list is intended only for critically-acclaimed artists that are widely considered to have acheived "legend" status. Here's my list:

1. The Grateful Dead -- This band tops my list because I can find absolutely no redeeming value in their music. It's as simple as that. If only they had quit taking acid long enough to realize how much their band sucked...

2. Santana -- Largely acclaimed for fusing latin rhythms into the rock genre, Santana had a couple of nearly-listenable songs in the early '70s. As a guitar player, I HATE his tone. Although his playing is proficient, I find it totally uninspired. I'm never moved, excited, or impressed in any way when listening to his crappy solos.

3. R.E.M. -- Has there ever been any other band so critically acclaimed that is so average? They have written a few decent songs. Nothing amazing. No brilliant musicianship. Michael Stipe's voice is marginal, and oftentimes irritating. And whenever I see interviews with them, they come off so pretentious -- clearly believing themselves to be deeply profound artists. So self-important...and so totally AVERAGE.

4. Bruce Springsteen -- I respect the amount of effort that he puts into his live performances, but I can't figure out how this guy has sustained a 30-year music career with the crap he puts out. Evidently the blue-collar thing appeals to a large segment of our society. I just find his music boring and predictable.


5. The Doors -- In a historical context, the Doors were significant. Their stage shows were wild and unpredictable, and Jim Morrison exuded a sexualty that was almost unparalled. In these ways, they personified the counter-culture of that era. But, Morrison was a freak and his poetry/lyrics, especially toward the end of his life, were so abstract as to be nonsensical. It was just drug-induced drivel. His untimely death catapulted him into "rock hero" status that was massively overstated and undeserved. The keyboards were one-dimensional, although cool on occasion (e.g. "Light My Fire"). While they had a few good tunes ("Hello, I Love You" rocks), their catalog of music, when viewed in its entirety, absolutely does not merit the adulation they have received in the annals of rockdom. Maybe their "greatness" will dawn on me someday, like it did with Hendrix in my early 20s. So far 30 years of listening hasn't done the trick.

6. The Clash -- During the punk era of the late '70s, critics labeled them "the only band that mattered." There's no question that they were trailblazers for that genre. But, I can't change the station fast enough when one of their songs comes on the radio.

7. Eric Clapton (1980s to present) -- As a guitarist myself, I feel like I'm commiting an act of sacrilege by saying this. But, everything Clapton put out after the 1970s is crap. These days, his guitar tone sucks, most of his recent songs are not memorable (save "Tears in Heaven"), and he no longer plays with the fire of his youth (to be fair, none of us do). Just compare his solo on the live version of "Crossroads" with anything he's put out over the last 20 years. There's no question that he deserves his legendary status for his work in The Yardbirds, John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers, Cream, and Derek and the Dominos. But beyond that, forget it.

8. Guns 'n Roses -- The first time I heard "Welcome to the Jungle" I knew this band would have an impact on the music scene of the day. Their first album had some songs that were decent--even refreshing, considering the crap put out by hair bands during that unfortunate era. But, Axl Rose is a friggin' ego-maniacal, self-important idiot (a trait he shares with several others on this list) with a grating voice that got worse (if you can imagine that) as his career progressed. Slash is a massively-overrated guitarist/drunkard. My most vivid memory of him was at a benefit concert in Santa Monica many years ago when he made a guest appearance with Great White (who sucks worse than ‘GnR’) and was so drunk he couldn't play. He got booed off the stage.

9. Pearl Jam -- Hailed by many as a premier grunge band, they were somehow able to "fool some of the people all of the time" with below-average songs, non-sensical lyrics, and a disheveled singer who sounded like he was trying to keep from swallowing a mouthful of cough syrup. Also, pick a melody and stick with it, for crying out loud. (Sorry, Myke)

10. Nirvana -- I struggled with this one a little bit. They wrote some good songs, ushered in the Grunge movement, and obviously had a huge influence on many bands that followed (way too much, in my opinion), which is why I think some of their accolades are deserved. But, like Jim Morrison, the mystique and prestige of Nirvana was elevated to mythic proportions after Kurt Cobain's death. There's no way to know for sure, but I believe it is highly unlikely that Nirvana would have garnered as much adulation had Cobain not taken his life. I'm not saying they weren't a cool band; just that they are highly overrated.

Dishonorable mention:

Blue-collar rock: John "Cougar" Mellencamp (sucked from Day 1)
Punk: Sonic Youth (trashy, sloppy, sucky)
Jam Band: Dave Matthews Band (quirky and unconventional can be cool; but, in the case, it just sucks).
EMO: The Smiths (one word: Morrissey)
Brit Rock: Oasis (a couple of great songs. But, how many different ways can you write the same song?)

That was pretty fun. I'll update If I think of more.